Hotei no Yume
by cappie
Summary: Kyou and Tohru find themselves alone one rainy afternoon. Personal revelations. Eventual Kyou Tohru.
1. ame

Hotei

By Cappie-chan

AN: Hotei is the Japanese god of contentment and happiness, one of the seven gods of good luck. 

Disclaimers: I don't own FB. Gomen gomen!

Note: this is my first time writing for Furuba, gomen if anyone is OOC. *bows*

It was one of those rainy afternoons…the kind where it was never pouring down hard, but at the same time…it was never a gentle sprinkle. The air was warm and rather humid, and it smelt of wet cement.  Inside the house it was quiet, and so one could hear the beautiful sound of each individual drop splashing against the glazed tiles.  It was late summer, and in the evening a sweater was required.  But, at the moment, it was quite fine inside the house; the smell of persimmon cookies cooling off on top of the stove.  If a sound could be heard it would be one of fabric moving and being folded, and then the gentle sound of padded footprints against the polished and reflecting wooden floors.  The rain continued to fall quietly outside, and from somewhere in the nearby forest a bird was chirping for its mate.

Tohru turned around, placing her arms into her lap as she gazed quietly out the window.  Days like this depressed her…of course, she would tell no one. Perhaps, she mused, 'depressed' was not the right word. Perhaps the one she was looking for was 'lonely'?  These gray days made her want to be inside, sitting in front of a fire, or in the kitchen, talking happily with someone.  Watching an old black in white movie, or playing a board game…yes, that would be wonderful.

She turned around, and looked downward at the floor where Kyou was sitting calmly, waiting for him to turn back into normal.  It was strange, ne? The two had the house to their self this one afternoon.  Everything seemed much more slow, relaxed and calm.  Even Kyou.

"I'm sorry…you still haven't turned back yet." She said softly as she looked at his cat form.

Large luminescent eyes, which reminded her of marbles, starred up at her.  Not full of anger or embarrassment—they were just looking. "No. It's alright."

 "I'm sorry…" Tohru whispered.

````````

She is always sorry.  And yet, can't she see she doesn't do anything? If anyone should be sorry…it's me.

```````

"What should you have to be sorry for? It's not your fault.  I chose to help you." Kyou said simply as he walked around to the other side of the table.

"Well, still, it was stupid of me to be standing there…I…" she could think of nothing to say. No words could come out.

Kyou sat quietly for a moment, his eyes closed, as he remembered why on this particular instance he was in his cat form.  No, it was not her fault at all…

````

…. It had been raining since morning. Yuki and the like had all gone out for something or another. Something to do with Akito—an occasion in which he was not invited. Of course, he was never invited—but one day, he swore, he would be. 'Stay at home.' They said. 'Train.' Had chided Yuki. But he had seen the resentment in Yuki's eyes.  He had seen the longing to stay, the longing to want to sit and chat friendly with Tohru.  He had disliked that he, Kyou, had been given the opportunity.  They had left, with many goodbyes from Tohru, and promises of bringing back something.  The house had been quiet then, except for the rain.  The rain had continued to fall steadily one drop after another after another.  Kyou hated the rain, for one thing his form being a cat; he did not agree to it. Secondly he could not train—something which his body longed to do even now.

He had sat down and began to read, but after a half an hour her absence had begun to worry for her.  Slowly Kyou got up from his sitting position, and quietly walked towards the kitchen.  Through the doorframe he saw her long hair blowing in the gentle breeze of the midday storm.  It was like honey…She stood there, precariously close to the edge, as though she wanted to jump into the murky and muddy waters down below.  He knew that she was not as happy as she acted to be.  He knew she cried.  He knew how lonely she became…how sad…

--But he could never tell her such things. She would just try to hide them even more.  She would smile…--

Silently he had walked towards her, studying her face.  Her large eyes were now closed, and her lips slightly parted.  As though she was waiting for something…

Waiting…

She swayed gently, and perhaps she was not aware…she had almost fallen into the sludge and dirty filth.  However, Kyou had reached out and tenderly grabbed her small wrist as he pulled her towards him.  After all, Tohru would not want to catch a cold if she got wet…perhaps his nerves were not good today due to the rain, or perhaps he had over slept.  Whatever the reason, he had pulled too hard, and for the briefest most precious of moments she had hugged his body, tenderly, protectively.

Only for the briefest of moments.  The briefest.

"I'm sorry. I got lost in thoughts…I'm sorry."  She was now crouched on the ground, smiling softly.

He glanced up at her, "It's alright."  

Tohru had petted his head then, gently and softly, her fingers light and tender as though she was stoking some porcelain object.  She had hummed some song then as she had done that, and in a way, although in his 'true' form, he would have wished it to last forever.  To not worry about Yuki, or Akito…to not have to remember his mother, or care about training.  Perhaps he would have been content to sit there forever.

```

"Ne, Kyou-kun, would you like some cocoa? It's becoming rather cold, ne?"  She asks me so innocently, her eyes wide in anticipation.  She wants to please me.  She never thinks of herself first…other must always come before.

"Aa. Cocoa would sound good." I answer.  She knows I prefer milk to tea…she notices such small things.

```

The rain had stopped for a time being, and now drops dripped from the awning into murky puddles below.  From the kitchen window Kyou can see the gray and mist shrouded forest.  Tohru blocks the view momentarily as she pours the steaming brew into two large and sturdy cups.  They are old and worn, but they seemed to be well loved.  They are from a forgotten past.  Probably some long dead potter made them during World War II.  Their glaze is astonishing; it looks like trickles of water running along a fall leaf.  The color is vibrant, almost the color the permissions hanging off the tree which marks the entrance to the forest.  But, traces of light green, yellow and burnt brown are noticeable.  Tohru places the cup softly in front of Kyou, and sits down across from him.  She blows into the cup, and the steam surrounds her face causing her cheeks to turn pink.  She giggles, and glances up at Kyou who is watching her quietly.  The cocoa is untouched.

"Tohru…" he breathed quietly, his eyes are still focused on her.  Tohru looks up, a smile still plaguing her face.  Her eyes are bright in the light.  Her features soften slightly as she finds Kyou's expression to be one of sorrow, and questioning.  She replies, "Yes, Kyou-kun?"

"Are you happy here?" 

I hardly know the words that come out of my mouth.  I know that she says she wants to be around 'Kyou-kun and Yuki-kun'…but still, no one can forever be happy. No one. Not even Tohru Honda.

"Of course I am happy! I'm always happy when I am with Kyou-kun or Yuki-kun!" she chirps brightly.  It is almost as though the response is automatic.

"I…that's not what I meant." Kyou stutters as he casts his gaze towards this steaming cocoa cup.  He takes a sip.  It is hot and rich and full of flavor.  It is different from what Kyou remembers hot cocoa to be like.  It has some added ingredients.  He tries to recognize them.  Nutmeg, cinnamon…and a dash of vanilla…

The rain had started again, he dimly noticed. Tohru remained quiet, her eyes downcast and quiet.

"Does Kyou-kun want me to leave? Am I a burden?" Tohru questioned, still smiling, but her eyes gaze away all her fears and sorrow.

"No! No, that's not what I meant." Kyou grumbled more harshly than he ment. He runs a hand through his hair, "I just…I want you to know that its alright if your sad. It's nothing to be ashamed of.  You don't have to hide it from me…or Yuki…" …or Yuki. Yuki.  As much as he hated to admit it, Yuki cared just as much as he did, even though the bastard pissed him off.  When it came to Tohru, they were in agreement.

"Are you sure?" Tohru questioned softly.  A tear had managed to fall onto the tablecloth.

I hate it when she cries.  It makes me feels as though all those years of training have gone down the tube.  People should have classes about how to deal with crying. It makes me feel so weak and insecure. Damn. Damn it!

I can think of nothing else to do. I look at her small, fragile hand resting by her cup.  I reach out and place my own atop of hers.  I even surprise myself.  It is too late to pull away now.  Her hand is delicate, but soft…and warmer than I imagined it would be.

"Of course I am sure."

She looks up, the steam having dissolved from the cup.  The wash of pink on her cheek from another reason entirely.

``````````

AN: okay, its short. Gomen. Please, review. And/or send e-mails to my e-mail: furinkoto_neko@yahoo.com


	2. suika

Hotei no Yume

By Cappie-chan

AN: heh heh. Lets see how this next chapter goes. 

Chapter Two

I had this dream once, it was different from any kind I had ever had before.  The feelings it emoted, and the places I had found myself in.  I can still remember each part vividly, as though it was a movie and anytime I wished I could sit down at watch it play in my head.  It is one of my few comforts in life, this dream.  It had been the night of the full moon, but it was early summer and large clouds had drifted across the sky, their edges tinted in silver as though the goddess of the moon was strumming them like a harp.  Each cloud a separate note on its own.  The clouds had floated on forever, and the horizon stood out prominently.  Dawn was still a long way off.  I had awoken hot and sweaty, and strangely enough my cheeks had been wet with tears.  I had quickly whipped them away, fearing that the walls had eyes.   The dream repeated its self over and over again in my head as I had sat in my bed, gazing up at the night.

The clouds of spring, the ones, which come after a rainstorm—they are the first things I see.  Their bottoms are gray and serene looking.  They quietly glide above my head, one after another after another. Never ending.  A cool wind has picked up from the sea.  It is refreshing, and a tingle goes down my spine…I look around.  What a strange neighborhood I have found myself in.  I cover my eyes momentarily.  The sun is not bright—but it is as though I want to protect myself from the newness that surrounds my frame.  I grip the bar of a steel railing, which overlooks the city down below.  Steep stairs descend this hill, bits of moss growing in their cracks.  Everything is more vibrant. More profound.  The houses which surround me are European in design, as though from the early nineteen hundreds to the nineteen thirties.  The colors are that of Italy and France: yellows, and gold's, with warm pumpkin reds and cool blues which must have shone like the unseen Mediterranean. A grove of pine trees is next to one house, the color is like that of dark blackness that seeps into the wall.  Each needle I can see, standing out as though on command.

I hear a laugh and turn around to face the view of the cloud streaked sky and bellow the sunlit town.  A figure is walking up the stairs—it is lean and it moves with fluid but calculated movements.  I pear closer.  And then, I feel it.  The warmness that surrounds my body.  I look down to see two small hands wrapping themselves around my frame.  I know these hands.  I know them very well.  I can feel her head leaning against me, and when the wind blows her honey colored hair shines like gold.  She is whispering something to me that I cannot quite hear. And then…it stops.  It ends. I woke up.

`````

Kyou gazed at Tohru quietly from across the old worn oak table.  Her eyes are downcast and she is studying Kyou's hand that still lays atop of hers.  She does not move her own, but instead lifts her eyes to look at Kyou.  He cannot say anything, and he fears to act.  All his strength in battle quickly washes out of him as though he were a hallow pipe in which the rain runs through.  Her eyes dance, and she says sweetly, "Kyou-kun has a very big hand."

I take my free hand and raise it as I murmur, "I don't think so.  You have small hands."

She lifts her own and places it flat against mine.  Her hands are small, but not grotesquely so.  They are not a child's hand; they are one of a woman.  I notice a small cut on her thumb that has now healed.  Besides that small blemish they are flawless.  I grin as I reply, "See, you _do_ have small hands."

Tohru laughs gently and sips her cocoa once again.  Perhaps she too is afraid.  Perhaps I should go and make up some excuse.  Any excuse.  I do not know what do. I feel like an infant reliant on its mother for all the needs. I am weak without her.  Just a mass of flesh.

"Ah! I know!" Tohru suddenly chirps her eyes bright and shinning.  Her countenance is so bright and airy—like the cloud-streaked sky of Kyou's dream.  She blurs the grayness that sweeps around them all.  Kyou glances up warily, his expression tired, but interested.

"I just bought a watermelon, why don't we have some?"  She claps her hands together waiting for Kyou's response.  He blinks, his face rather surprised, "Watermelon and cocoa?"

"Do you think it will upset your stomach, Kyou-kun?"  Her voice is worried, and concerned, "I do not want to do that."

"Oh! No, it's not that." Kyou found himself chuckling.  When the hell had he stared to chuckle? "I just find it a strange combination."  He gets up, and flexes his shoulders as he stretches the muscle tissue out.  "I'll cut it, if you want."

She nods, the continual smile gone.  The serious conversation now in her eyes only a memory.  In Kyou's however it is a continual reality.  He questions her motives silently to himself.  Cannot she find her own happiness?  She was not destined to find everyone else's.  Kyou shakes his head, a grin tugging on his lips.  He takes out a large knife from a drawer and begins to sharpen it.  The sound disturbs the quietness of the kitchen, but only for a short while.  The gentle grating of stone against metal sends a shiver of excitement to go down Kyou's spine.  The watermelon sits near the sink, it is perfectly round, speckled in varying shades of greens and yellow.  The strong fragrence of it still resonates about it.  He picks it up, admiring its hefty wait.  One stroke.  He wants it to be clear, and concise.  Clean. Orderly.  He lifts his hand high above his head, and in a blink of an eye sends it slicing down through the air.  One can still hear the echoing of the tender flesh as it cracks open.

He can hear Tohru's breathe caught in her throat.  He quickly slices it into smaller pieces, and places them on a cobalt blue plate.

"Here…" He mumbles as he hands one to her.  She takes one, slowly.  Her eyes have a worried shine in them, as she says seriously, "I wish Kyou-kun would not have done that."

Kyou blinks as he raises his head, questioning.  Done what? What the hell had he done wrong?

"What?" he questions hurriedly. His voice is strained, yet controlled.

She looks at him, her small mouth moving ever so slightly as she savors the sweet flavor of the watermelon juice. "I wish you would not cut the watermelon like that. What if you had gotten hurt? What if you had cut yourself? I never would like Kyou-kun to get hurt because of me."

So, she was worried.  He ate his watermelon in silence for a moment, noticing that it was the seedless variety.  It had grown a bit darker in the room as the sun had sunk lower on the horizon.

"I wonder where Yuki-kun and the others are…?" Tohru breathes nervously, glancing out the window. "I hope they have not gotten delayed."

Kyou spat to himself inside his head.  Knowing Akito, probably.  He would do anything to get his precious mouse back.  Anything.  The little rodent should be grateful that the family accepted him.  It still irked him that the mouse had been accepted anyways. If one thought about, what good was a mouse anyways? After all, mice ate the food in ones house.  They gorged, and destroyed everything with just a nibble.  One touch, and it shattered. 

"They'll be home." Kyou said reassuringly, even though inside he was boiling. Why was it always the mouse?  All the sympathy was given to him.  The two ate in silence—not the quiet, gentle, comfortable silence.  No, it was the tense moody kind, like a blanket of fog that surrounded a person and chocked them.  It held them close, so desperately close.

Tohru quietly picked up the plates on which the green rinds of the melon were littered.  She tossed them in the trashcan, and then began to wash the dishes.  The gentle sounds of water splashing against porcelain and clay were comforting, even though strangely so.  Kyou pushed himself away from the table, and stood up as he automatically began to dry off the dishes and place them respectively on their shelf. 

"Ne, Kyou-kun? Are you alright?" Tohru's voice tried to cover the concern swimming like a river throughout.  But, she could not hide such things from Kyou.

He turns towards her, placing the plate onto the counter top. It makes a slightly sound." What do you mean?"

"Are you okay? Kyou-kun seems, mad. Did I do something?"  Her eyes have begun to gloss over, and the beginnings of tears form. "Please tell me if I have. I hate to see Kyou-kun mad at me."

"Tohru…" Kyou breathed as he wrapped his arms around her. "Understand: I am never mad at you." He said fervently, his voice filled with emotion. "Never…"

How close he was to her, he realized.  Her scent was overwhelming—like fresh rose petals in the rain.  It swam about him, causing him to slowly, slowly, begin to loose control.  He tried to control his breathing.  He tried to focus, but he could do none.  Tohru's voice swam to him gently, questioning. 

AN: Wow! Sap! ;;; heh heh heh. Next chapter, lets see where this goes, ne? Dun worry, y'all…I can't write lemons. *hides* Not as good as the last chapter. Sorry. I'll continue, but it depends how many reviews I get. I dunno if I write it well enough anyways. Its really hard to write dialog for Tohru without using 'you', so finally I gave it up, somewhat. 


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